Rules suck! Most of us wish rules don’t exist. Since we were little, we were governed by rules. At home, we follow a curfew; in school, there are policies; at work, we need to come in on time and produce results; even in church, we are expected to “behave” properly. There are set rules in each society, from the dining etiquette to the social decorum.
But the good thing is: rules put things in order. Just imagine if there were no traffic rules; or if anybody is allowed to carry a deadly weapon around; or if there are no guidelines against trespassing homes and properties. Even games have rules; because if there is none, there will always be havoc in the basketball court and in the soccer field. If it is told that dating is a game, therefore this game has rules too. Some win, others lose. If you are well-versed with the rules, like in any game, you are sure to have a head start. You are heading on to be a winner. And in every game, strategies and game plans are important. You don’t reveal these strategies to your opponents, you want to keep them guessing.
Similarly, you don’t want men to recognize the dating rules in which you play. You may create approaches to keep them wondering what you are up to. Men enjoy challenges. They say that males have a set of general rules that govern dating. So women have too.
A 1995 Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider’s bestseller, “The Rules”, outlines how women can get the guy they want, but it raised some hostility from some groups. We are all unique and differ in the way we view things, especially dating. Our outlooks and viewpoints change as we grow older and gain more experiences. Therefore, you are very welcome to freely adapt, revise, delete or add your rules in your own dating game as you deem fit.
There are two sets of rules suggested here: one, dating in general; and two, internet dating. Both have their own unique guidelines to contribute to a woman’s success in dating.
General Dating Rules:
• Always be at your best. Look everything a woman. Well-combed hair and a touch of lipstick can turn men’s heads. Everything in your outward appearance should coordinate, including your clothes, shoes and accessories. Be ready to meet Mr. Right at any place, at any time.
• Keep your body fit and in good shape. Mr. Right is interested in both your mind and body.
• Do not divulge everything about you at once. Some information doesn’t need to be revealed. A mysterious woman drives guys crazy!
• Keep your man interested by making your dates brief. Remember, less is more.
• Do not turn up early during your dates. It is every woman’s prerogative to keep her man waiting.
• Do not shell out any money. Let him spend. If he is really into you, he would make sure you have the best food and you arrive home in a cab safely.
• If he doesn’t give you flowers, forget him.
• Do not make him feel that you are too desperate or always available for him. If he wants to see you Wednesday, you’re available Friday. Do not keep watching the phone and jump up when it rings. Make him leave one or two messages before you respond. He should be the one to do the chasing and you, the running.
• Keep sacred your weekend shopping sprees with your female friends. It is not open for dates.
• Shift landmarks as well as goalposts from time to time. This will keep your guy stand on quicksand.
• Don’t assume anything about the man until you know him more. Outward appearance can be deceiving.
• If you are interested in having a child, never talk about it on your first few dates.
• Do not go to bed with someone until you are sure that he has already fallen in love with you. Sex early on will ruin all your dating strategies.
• Your ex’s are your private business. Talking about your previous men, specifically their abilities in bed, is a complete no-no.
• Do not compare your date with your dad. As a rule, no one can measure up to a daughter’s father.
• On the other hand, do not ever say anything bad about his mother. Sons idolize their moms.
• Practice in front of a mirror so you can learn to be a good kisser. You will turn him off if you are not.
• At the slightest sign of insecurity, jealousy or possessiveness, leave at once. Life is short to be wasted on men who have personal issues.
• If he cannot keep his shoes or his nails tidy, dump the guy.
• Lastly, if a gorgeous man interests you, go and create in him a need for you. Make him want you. Don’t wait for him to come and get you, or you may end up watching him leave with another woman.
Internet Dating Rules
• Participate only in safe dating sites.
• Think of a username that is catchy and sexy, yet enigmatic.
• Post your most natural photo.
• Do not provide all your contact information.
• If you are not interested in married men, say so in your profile.
• Do not lie about your personal appearance. Give correct data about your
age, size and description. The truth will sure come out later.
• Do not keep sending them emails as if you are chasing them, let them be the one to run after you.
• When you receive an email, wait at least three days before responding.
• Do not reply to emails during weekends, wait till Monday.
• Write messages safely; keep yourself protected on every side.
• If he doesn’t send you an email in three days, ignore him.
• Do not stay online for very long. Short, quick visits are always best.
• If they annoy you with messages, block them.
• Ignore messages with witty pick up lines.
• Never chat with many men at once as it may cause a delay in responding to the potential Mr. Right.
• Humour and wit are acceptable, as long as they are in context.
• Never think that the man you are in contact with is needy or lonely. Virtual communications can be deceiving.
• In your profile, do not mention anything about your ability in bed.
• Always appear chic and cool.
Ladies, whatever case you are in, whether meeting him face to face or virtually, bear in mind that every woman has the right to be sexy and desirable. You are the chooser, men are the chaser.
Be on the safe side always. Do not give yourself away only for the sake of having a date. Every woman has her Mr. Right. You deserve to have yours.